Prove You Loved Me Along

Harsh words so ill advised
You don't hear her web of lies
Cut me down before I speak
You wonder why I feel so weak

This world is lonely all alone
When banished from your only home
But I didn't get sympathy
But never enough room to breath

Broken, afraid of being shattered
Could I find a little laughter
Hold me tight  in your arms
Prove you loved me all along

You were mine (I lost…)

I really want you close to me

But far away from my heart as you can be

I need a little guarantee

Before I start taking down my walls

Before I let you take it all

Cause there are some things we can’t fight

And if you really knew me you would know I was right

Cause my heart’s a million pieces shattered

Cheaply plastered together

And we can fight about how I don’t trust you

And how saying you love me won’t make it believe you

And by some miracle that you really do

Then I want to dedicate this song to you

Cause I know I lost

The best thing that ever happened to me

I lost my first and last chance to being happy

I lost everything I ever wanted

Cause I couldn’t handle being broken one more time

And if you got past that line,

Then I want to know you

I still wish you were mine

I’m sorry I couldn’t be everything you were to me

I’m sorry I couldn’t believe things I couldn’t see

I’m sorry cause I hurt you like they hurt me

And that I was to busy protecting myself

That I couldn’t even take your help

No no no

I’m sorry I’m made you love me

Or at least that’s what you said

Cause I know I lost

The best thing that ever happened to me

I lost my first and last chance to being happy

I lost everything I ever wanted

Cause I couldn’t handle being broken one more time

And if you got past that line,

Then I want to know you

I still wish you were mine

I’ll runaway never come back

You didn’t deserve being treated that

You need someone pretty

Someone sane

Maybe I’ll be that someday

But when that day comes

You’ll need something more

Always one step behind

Behind the closed door

Cause I know I lost

The best thing that ever happened to me

I lost my first and last chance to being happy

I lost everything I ever wanted

Cause I couldn’t handle being broken one more time

And if you got past that line,

Then I want you to know

I still wish you were mine

BoysLikeYou

I wish I could stop falling for you

But there’s something I just gotta say

You are almost everything I could ever want

But just so far away

I just wanna see you smile

Get lost in your arms for a little while

Cause there are these moments when you look at me

I can’t believe the air I breath

You are so close to making every dream of mine come true

As I sit and wonder how would it feel like to be close to you

I don’t need you

I don’t really want you

But you, you pull in me in like a force I can’t resist

I just wanna hate you sometimes I really do, but then you smile at me

And all the walls go down

And in this torture, I pray you’ll always be there to bring me down

Every moment that starts the race has occurred

But I’m still standing here so scared

I see your eyes staring at me sometimes

And sometimes they’re gentle sometimes as hard as ice and cold

And you’ll never understand how it feels to be so alone

Know someone already saved you and  now, know you just want somebody to take you home

But I’ve got you pinned, no I’ll never win, no, no

Cause I know boys like you

Think you’re so great at everything you do

So you think you’re so much better than me

And this shit I don’t believe

But no matter how much I try

I can’t stop myself from falling for you every time

pretty princess

Sitting in the bathroom.

Lock the door

Disney told you you deserve something more

But the world seems to tell you this is all right

But not from me tonight

We are all His children

Beautiful in our different ways

But he seems to tell you

That everything you do

Isn’t good enough but pretty pretty princess

he’s wrong, so wrong

He tells you lies, tries to make you cry

But call a spade a spade

This shit ends today

Oh no, he’s only got power if you believe him

If you believe Him

oh pretty pretty princess

You deserve so much more

Even when you’re crying on the dirty floor

pretty pretty princess don’t lock your tears away

pretty pretty princess, the cloud aren’t here to stay

To stay, to stay, to stay,

The tears will go away

Pretty princess

Society likes you tell jewels and beauty bring you happiness

But Cinderella moment are so much more that this

Cinderella moments make you see

That beautiful hangs in the air, like flowers on a tree

It’s natural just look up

Oh if you never look up

you never will see

Why Cinderella moments seem like a dream

oh pretty pretty princess

You deserve so much more

Even when you’re crying on the dirty floor

pretty pretty princess don’t lock your tears away

pretty pretty princess, the cloud aren’t here to stay

To stay, to stay, to stay,

The tears will go away

Pretty princess

Ohh!!!  I’m praying for you every night

When you loose your sight

I’m praying that you will no longer hear

The lies the society tells you when their trapped in fear

Pretty pretty princess

There’s a prince that can take you away

To a king where you will forever stay

oh pretty pretty princess

You deserve so much more

Even when you’re crying on the dirty floor

pretty pretty princess don’t lock your tears away

pretty pretty princess, the cloud aren’t here to stay

To stay, to stay, to stay,

The tears will go away

Pretty princess

It Won’t Be

Life is simple

Try to find your way home

Race to the very end

Make friends with the one who knows you better than yourself

For He will always to be there to help

And life can be beautiful

Life can great

Life can be everything we wanted and more

But for some reason, I can’t shake the feeling

If you’re not mine it just won’t

I remember the way you talked the first time, I can hear it in my mind

I remember the way it felt when our eyes first meet

I remember how it felt to have your ears listening to me

I can remember how you smile and how all I want to do is smile too

And life won’t be beautiful if I don’t have you

If I don’t have you smiling at me

If I don’t have you making me feel beautiful again

If I don’t have you telling me how you pray twice a day

I can’t see of the beauty that surrounds me

When your lighting is blinding me

And life just won’t be beautiful

If you’re not mine

This ain’t fair to me or you

I deserve to believe in something that I can hold on to

This is a dream of fantasies of you and me

But do you even see me?

Because there is someone whispering in my ear

That I’m not good enough for you

He’s trying to bring me down,

And lies are lies

But nothing makes me believe that he’s wrong

And if I believe him then all the other lies will be possible to believe

If he tells me that life can’t be beautiful, then maybe I’ll believe it won’t be

If he tells me that life can’t be great and that life will never be everything I needed,

Then maybe it won’t be

I don’t want you to think I’m crazy

I’m not lonely

You maybe not be a lovely as you seem to be

But if you won’t let me in, I will never know

If you’re not then maybe life could start to be as beautiful as it could be

But if you don’t, life just won’t

It won’t be

 

Sincerely,

#39

Broken Wings

How do I begin ponder the possibility

That this dream from the beginning has been doomed

How do I forget 19 years of a dream

That kept me in one piece

How do dreams die when they once felt more alive than your very life?

How do cinders transform a simple girl into Cinderella?

Am I fooling myself to believe they ever will?

Is life nothing more than waiting till

old age or a tragedy kill

Is the afterlife a place or a state of mind

The possibilities leave me blind

To see the beauty and possibilities that surround me

Music fills a place in my heart I never knew I had

Until it felt full

Until it all felt right

I wish I could find you tonight

Leading me the right way home

Because I feel like you left me

Let the pain be and let it sting

When I was already made with broken wings

Luck is the name of the game

The older I get the more I come to understand of this world and the tricks it had played on me and the tricks it continues to play.So earlier today, after trying to figure out what are the chances I would marry my celebrity crush who will remain unnamed, I realized a trick society has been playing on me and it is this: If you don’t have a boyfriend you are doing something wrong and until you fix whatever you are doing wrong, you are not as valuable as the other girl who has a boyfriend. Let me begin with the media. So I believe this goes back a long time. For centuries women have been told to stay at home and rear the kids. And this has been this way probably up until the sixties if not longer. So of course the art of this time reflected this belief. And while we know that women can live happy lives without a man in her life we have not let our art progressed. We know as a society that women don’t need men, but emotionally we don’t feel it. This is for a lot of reasons. I know for me, its because of Daddy issues and because well, how do I put this… well… I went to high school! High school I believe is where this idea really develops. In high school, in case you have forgot, boys have ragging hormones and guys who we like know a lot of girls like them, so they go for the hottest girl they can find and a lot of girls will go from relationship to relationship because they are a hot commodity. So we begin to envy the other girls who have boyfriends. We look at them and wonder what is wrong with ourselves. And ladies I am sorry but we are catty and you have to admit if you didn’t like someone and you had a boyfriend sometimes you would think in your head, “Well, I have a boyfriend so in some way I am better than you.” That’s normal, not right or fair, but normal and girls can notice you feel this way. And instead of this you’re wrong they think “Wow, what is wrong with me?” Then comes the media. They feed this insecurity, especially magazines. They know what you want to hear, that if you follow certain steps you can get a boyfriend. But let me tell you, no matter what steps you take from stupid magazines or from the internet, they won’t make you get a boyfriend. Only two things can help you get a boyfriend: luck and confidence. I’m sorry but that’s it. I know that’s not what you  want to hear but that's the truth. But they biggest thing is luck. You could be the most confident coolest girl in the world, but if a guy doesn’t want to see it, it won’t happen. Guys are stubborn and if they have a bunch of girls around them, they will take the most attractive one because they are horny teenagers. But there will be a guy who will realize how amazing you are and before you go picking up a teen magazine realize its a lot about luck. And movies and books don’t help either they give you a picture of yourself maybe, feeling sad that you don’t have a boyfriend, and in the end the girl gets a boyfriend and she’s happy and for a few hours you can live vicariously through the character but a few hours after the movie you feel worse than you did before. They know how girls feel insecure about not having a boyfriend and they want to make money off you, not all the time but a good portion of the time. So I guess what I am trying to say is to the young girls is don’t think there is anything wrong with you. Luck is just the name of the game and keep in there.