Revelations and Realizations

You know when there comes a point in your life when you’re just on a roll. You come to more and more realizations and one leads to  another and another. Well that was definitely this week for me. I realized that, well this maybe sounds like a really obvious thing, but I need to be someone who absolutely crazy about me. If he isn’t, then I shouldn’t waste my time and energy on someone who doesn’t think I am great.  Time is so precious and I waste it so much on things that will never do anything to me. Energy is best spent when the more you put in, the more you receive. The things I, and I think a lot of us, put  energy in never return the energy we put in. And I do this with guys and I’m done with doing that. I deserve to be with someone who really cares about me; who is crazy about me!!! And yes, this should be obvious but sometimes the simplest things and most obvious things are the hardest accept.

I think this is because we in our culture love to us our heads and intellectualize our lives and emotions. When something is simple and obvious, we think that it can’t be true because while it does require us using our hearts it doesn’t require us to use our heads as much as we think is needed to right. Sometimes our hearts know more than our heads.

Something I realized as I have been reading the Word is that, well I suck at praying, particularly this quarter of college. I have found a lot of the time when I pray, I am just trying to prove how biblical I am. I remember this week when I was thinking about that, I just heard this little thought in my head: “I know how biblical you are.” I was struck by how clear in my head it was and how authoritative it was. I’m not saying I heard God’s voice. But I know that thought came from Him. So this week I have been trying to pray with more of an open and honest heart and really talking to the Lord like He wants to hear my real thoughts and troubles of the days and really praising Him for the small things in the day. Then it really helped to come to campus ministry on Friday to have them talk about how to have a better pray life. Just God confirming that I need to focus more of my energy into my pray life. 

One thing I have realized in particular is that I need to pray to God more about this blog/project. I think this list partly became a way of saying to myself that I am not enough for a guy right now. But that is not what I want. I want to find God’s will for me in this time of singleness. I want to use it to move closer to him. If this is what I desire, I need to believe that God gave me this time with a purpose. That He has something amazing planned for me in this time. So obviously, a bit of change in my project, but only in attitude.

So for my workout… Ha ha.Well… So for my plan for my mile, I am on week 3 and for week I have to run 3 to 4 miles. However, a lot of things happened this week where I couldn’t get to the gym in time or I didn’t a good enough breakfast so I didn’t have enough energy. So I was never able to get over 3 miles. So I will be repeating week 3.

Mile Chart

	Mon.	Tues.	Wednes.	Thurs.	Fri.	Sat.
Week 1			11:10/1		9:30/1	32/3.02
Week 2	19:52/2	Swim	24:05/2	Dance	35/2.15	9:45/1
Week 3	35/2.93	Dance	25/2.15	Dance	18/1.25	Restart
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6

            

Because it’s been hard for me to get to the gym on time, the strength has been suffering as well. I have been going to the gym around 7:30am, normally but the last few days because of the crap happening in the morning it’s been closer to 8am. However I think that will have to change to getting there at 7am anyway. I’ll see if I can make it work for 7:30 for this week but some where along the lines, I’ll have to move it to earlier because I mean week 6 is 6 to 7 miles. I am hoping by that my normal mile time will reduce significantly by then but if I could get that done in any hour, that would be perfect. That being said, I would have to get there by 7am. 

That’s I think all we have this week.

Love and Prayers,

 

Breanna