Agression, Hate, Love and Deterimination

Stan... Sing for the Moment... Lose Yourself... Mockingbird. Songs of aggression and hate and love and determination. All from one man who I consider to be one of the best artists of our time. Not because of his supreme rapping skills, but more because of his ability to express his emotions in an uncensored and real state. Like him, though not as dramatically, I have anger which is almost always set off from parents and what society tells me to be which has often conflicting ideas. And just like him, my preferred choice of letting out my emotions is through song. And within his songs, he presents ideas that I can relate to which I'm sure many people could. Especially in his "Sing for the Moment," I find a very interesting concept: Whether the media causes violence. A quote which I like very much is "They say music can... talk to you. But can it load a gun for you...?... Next time you assult a dude...Tell the judge it was my fault then I'll get sued." I liked this quote because it shows his intelligence in this unconventional way. But mostly I look him because... frankly... its the guy version of what Taylor Swift would be saying if she had a horrible childhood and on dope. So in other words amazing! But while mad at my parents I put it on and feel better because you know he's saying everything you wish you could say.

Hmmmm... instead of writing my feelings as a FB status I decided to write my current feelings on this blog. Because I know if I were to write a status about how you don't care anymore, if you ever did at all, those who do care will start thinking I'm still not over you; which is contrary to my real feelings. Not at all. Actually I'm simply observing a common theme which I have experienced even proir to you; I must admit however I have never experienced it so fully as with you. But on to this theme that has lead me to write about it on my blog at 1:15 in the morning. It is this: Us, as people, look back and wonder what we did wrong. This is for many possible reasons but I think the two most probable is 1.) we hope to not make the mistake twice or 2.) because we get off on the pain. But real question is not why we do it, its why we think you would really care. Why would I want to go back and change things when I know it would make no difference? Because, while I may not know you as well as your fiance *chuckle, I know it won't make any difference to you; that I may see where I messed up, when I should have just kissed you instead of being a smart ass, when you motioned your index finger to come to you. Because you didn't care enough to tell me you didn't want me.

But most of all why do I keep saying "you"? Like you care enough to read my blog.