Accept or Ask for More?

I'm sitting here in my college computer lab. There are two other people in this room. I am constantly watching my back, hoping no one sees my computer screen with five taps of different colleges. I'm cheating on my college. With one's with big football teams and... greek systems, something that is despised here. Well its probable close to porn when your wife is downstairs. (Please no one freak out, I'm not saying only guys on unfaithful. It's just that most women can't get off from pictures.) I know if that's what I really want, I have come to the wrong place. I just wish I had known what I wanted. I wish I had recognized in high school that I didn't hate the football team and cheerleaders, I was just upset I couldn't be their friend. I wish I had enough insight to realize this. I wish I had realized that I could have been. With a few beauty tricks and a little more confidence, I could have been just like them. But I'm more confident now and I know I can be friends with them. Granted, I'm still picking up a few beauty tricks but that's what the internet's for. So now that I realize this, I'm sitting here in a college where I am still alone. I'm actually at my Summer Orientation so I could be freaking out a little too much considering the people here only represent a portion of the class but I think I can still be right. You see, here the Improv team is more valued than any sports team. Their Improv is other school's football but you want to know the sad part, the Improv team sucked! We saw them last night and they weren't funny! They were like the football team in high school. They were 'popular' (even though they didn't look like any popular people I have ever seen) and they still thought they were so cool. I suppose this is what made me think I hated the football team in high school, it was that they were conceded. I hate people who are conceded. Am I bound to hate the popular people because they are conceded? Am I doomed to never be accepted by the popular because I hate how conceited there not because of what the actually do? Am I always going to be the outcast? And when will I stop caring about that? Can I ever accepted this? I don't know honestly. If I can't, well then I guess I'll do the smart thing and go looking for what I really want. Whatever that may be.